Thursday, May 15, 2014

Chosen One-On-Ones

Before you start reading this blog post, go ahead and crank up the song "Chosen One" by my band, Second Player Score. You can find it (and even download it for free!) at this link. I'll wait.

Got it? Good.

Okay, now on with today's post. The idea of a Chosen One - a person who is predestined to save the world or perform some other similarly heroic deed - is a rather common trope in fantasy and science fiction, from books to movies to video games.

The thing is, though, since it's so common, what you end up with is a whole bunch of Chosen Ones running around, beating up the bad guys and saving the world. Isn't a Chosen "One," by definition, supposed to be singular?

So, there's only one way to settle this: with a Chosen One-On-One Battle. Let's begin!

Anakin Skywalker vs. Harry Potter

There are a bunch of opinions about this particular battle all over the Internet, but I'll give you mine: even though Harry has a lot more options at his disposal (a whole range of spells versus The Force + a lightsaber), I think Anakin takes this one. This is how I see it going:

- Harry casts Expelliarmus, ridding Anakin of his saber
- Anakin retaliates by using the Force to rid Harry of his wand
- Without a wand, Harry can't cast any spells
- While Harry is scrambling for his wand, Anakin uses the Force to retrieve his lightsaber and/or choke Harry or whatever

There you go. Or, maybe it would go something like this.

Zael from The Last Story vs. Shulk from Xenoblade Chronicles
This is a tough one. Zael has the Mark of the Outsider, while Shulk can see the future. Zael is stronger and more battle-trained, but Shulk's Monado sword beats any weapon that Zael can scare up. I dunno...I'll just flip a coin and go with Zael. I think Nintendo should cave in to popular demand and put both characters in the next Super Smash Bros. game so then we can find out for real.

Neo vs. Po
At first, I was surprised that other people besides me actually thought about this one. But to quote Albus Dumbledore, "actually, if I think about it, it doesn't seem curious at all." Both Neo and Po are martial arts experts, and they each have some special moves at their disposal - Neo can fly, while Po has the Wuxi Finger Hold and, of course, a belly that is impervious to most attacks. Assuming that Po lives in a version of the Matrix, though, I'd have to give the edge to the man formerly known as Thomas Anderson. Also, if Neo got into trouble, he'd just have to run up a long flight of stairs...

So there you have it: Anakin, Zael, and Neo. And then if the three of them were to get into it, I'd say Anakin - in a landslide. Darth Vader rules!
What do you think?

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