Thursday, November 17, 2016

A Post That Is Sort Of About Football, Mid-Season Edition

Two months ago, I wrote a blog post called A Post That Is Sort Of About Football in which I gave my one-line thoughts about each NFL team following the first game of the season. Now that the season has reached the halfway mark (or gone a little past it, actually, but who's counting), I thought it'd be fun to revisit this subject and see just how much jinxing power I actually possess.
Arizona Cardinals: two months ago, I said that they've become "annoyingly good." Since then, they've gone 4-4-1 and traded missed winning field goals with the Seahawks. Jinxed?

Atlanta Falcons: I said nothing jinx-worthy, and now they are 6-4 and in first place in their division.

Baltimore Ravens: please beat the Cowboys this weekend (check back in January to see what kind of effect this statement had.)

Buffalo Bills: as promised, for one week I hated them with a burning passion. Their quarterback is a lot better than I thought.

Carolina Panthers: they play the Seahawks next month, so I think I will keep my mouth shut.

Chicago Bears: like I said last time, they were fun in the '80s.

Cincinnati Bengals: I said nothing jinx-worthy, and now they are 3-5-1 and in third place in their division. Hmm.

Cleveland Browns: hey, at least your baseball team reached the World Series, something the Mariners have yet to do.

Dallas Cowboys: last time I said "Now they're like an ex, where you just peripherally take notice of stuff they're up to but you try not to get too involved and when you see they're having problems you just kind of think 'man, am I glad I don't have to deal with that drama anymore." Well, now the ex has gotten a new makeover and/or a fancy car and suddenly looks way hotter than you remember them.

Denver Broncos: I took a little swipe at them last time, thanking them for Super Bowl XLVIII. Good thing they don't play the Seahawks in the regular season.

Detroit Lions: it's almost Thanksgiving and these guys are tied for first place in their division. What?

Green Bay Packers: two months ago, I said "Stop being so cool. And so good." And then they listened to me. Jinxed?

Houston Texans: I said nothing jinx-worthy, and now they are 6-3 and in first place in their division.

Indianapolis Colts: at 4-5, I'm not sure I'll get a chance to abhor them with the fury of a thousand suns.

Jacksonville Jaguars: maybe they'll fire Gus Bradley and then he can come back to the Seahawks?

Kansas City Chiefs: I guess loud stadiums pay off.

Los Angeles Rams: two months ago, I said "Unlike the Cardinals, they are not annoyingly good, but they are annoyingly good at beating the Seahawks for some reason." Since then, they've amassed a losing record while beating the Seahawks along the way. I'm not sure if that's a jinx or not.

Miami Dolphins: have made a nice recovery since week one. Good job, fish.

Minnesota Vikings: started off hot, cooled down a lot recently. Maybe they're following the Minnesota weather?

New England Patriots: No comment.

New Orleans Saints: I zinged them last time, teasing them about losing at home to the Raiders. Then they went out and beat the Seahawks. That's a total jinx. On me, not them.

New York Giants: I said nothing jinx-worthy, and now they are 6-3, in second place in their division, and just a half-game behind the Seahawks' record.

New York Jets: I said nothing jinx-worthy, and now...never mind.

Oakland Raiders: I zinged them indirectly by teasing the Saints about losing at home to them. Now they are 7-2 and tied for first place in their division.

Philadelphia Eagles: they play the Seahawks this coming Sunday, so I think I will keep my mouth shut.

Pittsburgh Steelers: you just couldn't beat the ex, I mean, the Cowboys, could you. Dangit.

San Diego Chargers: I still like your powder blue uniforms.

San Francisco 49ers: eeeyeah.

Seattle Seahawks: No comment.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers: see "Carolina Panthers" above.

Tennessee Titans: even though Marcus Mariota, a Hawaii native, is their quarterback, this is the one team that always seems to elude my mind for some reason whenever I'm doing a Joel Suzuki and thinking up a list of AFC teams in my head.

Washington Redskins: I said nothing jinx-worthy, and now they are 5-3-1 but in third place in their division. I think the conclusion here is that my jinxing powers are probably more confirmation bias than anything else. Still, though, I will stick by my "no comment" statements above, just in case. Go Hawks!

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